February 2009
13 posts
Just as I am about to declare that this is the most peaceful breakup, images of our perfect future passes through my mind and crushes me for a brief second. We were so in love that every promise of perfection and vision of our future was imagined with sincerity. The permanence of this breakup revealed our innocence.
Since the breakup we have been polite and even friendly to each other. I think...
“Because he knows you have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep...”
– One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey (via threeseptembersandajanuary) (via illuminatedwallflower) (via breathsoftruth) (via sshhh) (via iguessthatscool) (via unicornology)
I was sad because for so many years when I looked at you, I saw some of me. When we broke up I thought I would lose myself. The first three weeks apart was the hardest as I tried to remember what exactly I did with my thoughts and worries before we were together. This new routine is the hardest to get use to. But it gets easier. This I have experience in.
“Music is a total constant. That’s why we have such a strong visceral connection...”
– Sarah Dessen (via lococommotion) (via tuesdayslove) (via unicornology)
The best love songs are ones about heartbreak
“I thought it was fair to point out that, really, the best love songs are about falling out of love, not into it. New love is great and blah blah blah but nothing says passion and desperation like heartache does. That’s why, for V-Day, I threw together a special Tears On Your Pillow set of songs for those who know that no love is so sweet as that which you no longer have.” Soul...
A New Smell
I hardly ever wear perfume or even scented lotion. I had Light Blue by D&G and this Kenzo body splash that featured rice (Weird concept, great smell). Both are great, but dated to a time in my life.
I tried Ginger Essence from Origins this past weekend. I decided it is a good scent to adopt. I usually like something fruity and sweet. This is a bit spicy. A little bit of spice is okay.
Alone Days
These are what I call my “alone days”, days that pass by like camera flashes. Quick, easy, painless and forgettable. Days that seem to disappear into a cavern of other similar ephemeral moments. But when I look back, everything is a clear picture: I’ve chosen solitude. And my choice has its repercussions. There was never such with you. After our first date, a grab-and-go sushi dinner moment...
A Drawing of a Pile of Shoes
I found boxes of artifacts from college. They were perfectly perseved and revealved all the minuscule drama of that year. I found the first assignment I did for beginning drawing. We had to draw a pile of shoes. Taking the drawing class was the first decisive move towards a major in art, and perhaps a career in art. It was also the first class Chris and I took together. He switched out of computer...
Good Bye in Berlin
The alarm clock went off. He hastly got ready. We went downstairs and got a cab. I could have hopped in the car and sent him off at the airport. I didn’t want to. I couldn’t. I knew if I made that one gesture, I would have fallen deeply in love again. I didn’t want to be the one left standing alone at the airport, left with all these good memories. I opted for the more selfish...
The First Weekend
Saturday I met a book artist named Chris. Sunday this random creep at Sephora asked me out. His name is also Chris.
Introduction to Notes on Breaking Up
We were in together for 5 years. Maybe even 6, depends on how you count it. We broke up on Feb 1st.
I will try to write generally about some intimate moments of our relationship. This will be an experiment in prose. A way of remembering our relationship. A way of moving forward. This is not a sad blog. To a new beginning…
